reading rules
Before you read the book, there are rules. They depend on which day it is.
Monday: make the sound of an Osteop with a toothache, as loudly as possible. Fail to do so and an actual Osteop may howl for three hours outside your bedroom window.
Tuesday: make the sound of a panicking P'niknik summoning its family to the APPP, as loudly as possible. Fail, and a family of panicking P'nikniks will enter your bedroom and have a picnic, chewing on the curtains and carpets.
Wednesday: make the sound of a two-headed Snollimpest getting into a bath that is too cold. Failure carries a spot fine of $45 and a cold bath. Thursday: the sound of a Jessoponius singing in the shower. Friday: vibrate like a walrus at the World Walrus Vibrating Championships, for thirty seconds.
Saturday: for twenty seconds, make the sound of a walrus that has just been admitted to walrospital having swallowed a mobile phone.
First seen in Book 7, page 4
Research
Straight from the books
Facts
world_rule (9)
To read this book on a Monday, the reader must make the sound of an Osteop with a toothache, as loudly as possible.
To read this book on a MONDAY, please make the sound of an Osteop with a toothache. As loudly as possible. b07:c00:p004
Failure to make the Osteop sound on Monday may result in an actual Osteop howling for three hours outside your bedroom window.
Failure to do so may result in an actual Osteop howling for three hours outside your bedroom window later tonight. b07:c00:p004
To read this book on a Tuesday, the reader must make the sound of a panicking P'niknik summoning its family to the APPP, as loudly as possible.
To read this book on a TUESDAY, please make the sound of a panicking P'niknik summoning its family to the APPP (Annual Panicking P'nicknik Picnic). As loudly as possible. b07:c00:p005
Failure to make the P'niknik sound on Tuesday will result in an actual family of panicking P'nikniks entering your bedroom and having a picnic, chewing on curtains and carpets.
Failure to do so will result in an actual family of panicking P'nikniks entering your actual bedroom tomorrow when you're out, and having an actual picnic. And be warned, they particularly enjoy chewing on curtains, and carpets. b07:c00:p005
To read this book on a Wednesday, the reader must make the sound of a two-headed Snollimpest getting into a bath that is too cold.
To read this book on a WEDNESDAY, please make the sound of a two-headed Snollimpest getting into a bath that's waaaaaaay too cold. b07:c00:p006
Failure to make the Snollimpest sound on Wednesday may result in a spot fine of $45 and having to take a cold bath.
Failure to do so may result in a spot fine of $45 and having to take a cold bath yourself! b07:c00:p006
To read this book on a Thursday, the reader must make the sound of a Jessoponius singing in the shower.
To read this book on a THURSDAY, kindly make the sound of a Jessoponius singing in the shower. b07:c00:p007
To read this book on a Friday, the reader must vibrate like a walrus at the World Walrus Vibrating Championships for thirty seconds.
To read this book on a FRIDAY, kindly start vibrating like a walrus at the World Walrus Vibrating Championships. Do this for thirty seconds. b07:c00:p008
To read this book on a Saturday, the reader must for twenty seconds make the sound of a walrus that has just been admitted to walrospital having swallowed a mobile phone.
To read this book on a SATURDAY, for twenty seconds make the sound of a walrus that has just been admitted to walrospital having swallowed a mobile phone that won't stop ringing. b07:c00:p009