Ms. Glamorgan

Teaches: Egyptology Major Accomplishment: Double Olympic gold medalist (swimming) Loves: Swimming, anything to do with Egypt

On some days, especially if it has been raining, there appears to be a small pyramid growing out of the top of her head. Nobody is sure whether it is decorative or some kind of pointy pimple.

Ms. Glamorgan is a really famous swimmer and has won gold medals twice at the Olympics. Once for the 99m elbowstroke and once for the 147m grinning-dolphin.

She is the only person to have swum the full length of the River Nile (4,132 miles) five times, and a different stroke each time:

2020 – Windmill-stroke 2019 – Snack-stroke 2018 – Sulking-duck-stroke 2017 – Confused-starfish-stroke 2016 – Cactus-balancing-stroke

Ms. Glamorgan lives on a large estate which boasts an Olympic-size swimming pool. She trains in it from 6-7 am before going to school, then from 6-7 pm before dinner, and then from 11pm till midnight before going to bed.

When she was young

Geraldina Glamorgan’s parents were (and still are) famous fish-counters, i.e. they are world experts in counting the numbers of fish in rivers, lakes, dams and even parts of the ocean.

They do this through a combination of radar scans, diving, snorkeling and completely (and secretly) making stuff up. Because they are the only people in the world who do it, nobody can fault their techniques.

When Geraldina was five, her parents took her on a business trip down the Nile, where they were undertaking a perch census, i.e. counting how many perch (a type of fish) were in the river.

On that trip Geraldina got really into swimming, and everything and anything to do with Egypt. She also tried her hand at fish counting and found it (1) annoying, (2) boring and (3) outright weird.

Despite that, she has maintained great relations with her parents.

She has a lifetime pass to the Egyptology room at The Sniffsonian, and at home has what is believed to be the world’s largest private collection of books on Egypt. It extends for twenty-three floors below her house. Beside floor twelve is a swimming pool, just in case she wants to take a break from the reading. Adjacent to floor thirteen is a large fish-pond, just in case her parents want to come down and do some counting. When last surveyed, it had 3,418 fish in it, but it is believed that two have subsequently died.