Perforator 800

1 or 2-person hole-digger.

Engine size: 8.0 liter (diesel) Number of blades: 3 Max speed: 5 mph Max distance on one tank: 10 Strength/special feature: Slow-moving terrifying beast. Can dig through most surfaces, including asphalt.

The unique thing about the Perforator 800 is its hot-tub functionality. The entire cabin is perfectly sealed, and if the pilot pulls lever 14X, the cabin starts filling up with warm water. The water stops just over waist level, hence allowing the pilot to continue digging whilst enjoying a lovely hot soak.

There was an incident in 2019, where a hole-digging pilot by the name of Henry Nosel-Skrotch was repairing the main water pipes of downtown Winkle-dorp. After eating his packed lunch sandwiches, he put the Perforator-800 on auto-pilot, pulled lever 14x, and settled in for a lovely warm hot tub session.

Unfortunately Henry Nosel-Skrotch fell asleep. In his sleep he by mistake kicked the forward guidance control sprocket, which as you well know, over-rides the auto-pilot functionality, and the Perforator 800 started doing its own thing. By the time he awoke, it was too late. He’d cut right through the main water pipe, a huge flood ensued and the whole of Winkle-dorp had to be evacuated by triplocopter and triplo-triplocoter.

Henry Nosel-Skrotch was fired from his job. He then went on to set up his own hot-tub business, and is now a very successful businessman. He learnt his lesson though, and has a long nap after lunch every day, just to be safe.