Homputers

Homputers are computers that can walk and have human-type limb functioning. They were invented by Mike Homputer in 1994. Each has a serial number which denotes its speciality.

Examples: 44573X – cooking 44573Y – wobble-ball 44573Z – face-pulling 44574A – mailbox-licking 44574B – postbox-polishing 44574C – whistling 44574D – BBQing 44574E – snodule archiving

Generally homputers are well-behaved. But there have been isolated incidents of misbehaviour. Some of the more notable incidents are:

The Yodeling Ruckus of 1998: A beta version of the 44574C (whistling) escaped from its owner’s apartment and installed itself on the roof on the building, locking the access door as it passed through. It then proceeded to yodel so loudly that it could be heard from up to 13 miles away. It kept that entire neighbourhood awake until 3am, when a police triplocopter finally captured it using a krypto-web net, and took it back to the factory.

The Mailbox Bashing Incident of 2001: During an extended nocturnal rampage, three 44574A homputers (mailbox-licking) broke out of their factory and smashed over 1,000 suburban mailboxes over the course of a week.

The BBQ Brouhaha of 2007: During the 2007 Royal BBQ, the main 44574D (BBQing) on duty suddenly went on the rampage, and started throwing pterodactyl pies at the royal family. As you know, pterodactyl pies are not dangerous projectiles, but in the ensuing pandemonium, the BBQ caught fire and the fire department needed to be called. When the fire-fighters arrived, the rampaging homputer then turned his/her/its rage towards the fire-hover-truck, brought out a new supply of pterodactyl pies, and started pelting it. The fire chief, Jethro Jeffferson was in the hover-vehicle at the time. He was not happy, so responded with the water cannon. But his aim was off (despite being the fire chief), and he hit the Royal Family. The force of the water was so strong that the Royal Viewing Platform fell into the lake and floated off. The entire Royal family had to be rescued by triplocopter and it was very embarrassing for everyone. Plus the food on the BBQ all got burnt. The 4457D that started the chaos was decommissioned and is in storage at Mike Homputer’s homputer facility.

The main components of a typical homputer are:

A fatherboard (in regular computers this is known as a motherboard) A Central Processing Zwort (CPZ) A Graphics Processing Zwort (GPZ), also known as a video card Reticulated Access Memphistophle (RAM), also known as volatile memory Solid State Droppen-groppen (SSD) Hard Disk Droppen-groppen (HDD)