Fflumpet
A fflumpet is like a trumpet, but worse. Much worse.
When Eggbert Fflumpet was 5 years old he was forced by his parents to attend SEVEN trumpet lessons a day. He didn't enjoy it. At all.
One day, in a sulk, he shoved a sausage down the end of one of his trumpets. When played, it sounded really odd. He found it strangely pleasing.
From that day on, whenever practising at home, to annoy his parents, he used the sausage trumpet. Over time the sausage dried out and the sound got weirder. He named his new instrument after himself: a fflumpet.
His parents found the sound entirely disturbing, but reasoned it was better that he played badly than not at all. The years passed and eventually they grew to accept the sound.
One day a passing businessman heard the sound and loved it. He got permission from Eggbert to manufacture fflumpets. This man, John Wort-Fiddle, happened to be a distant cousin of Zebulon Goodacre (Mr. Goodacre, Founder and Lord Admiral of Camp Goodacre).
When Camp Goodacre was formed, John Wort-Fiddle was so excited by his cousin's venture that he donated 30 fflumpets for use by the campers. When Mr. Goodacre heard the sound they made, he was horrified, and banned the kids from using them. He did allow the camp trumpeters to use them, a decision he regrets to this day.
First seen in Book 13, page 43
Research
e_fflumpetIn the printed almanac pages (1 cited)
Straight from the books
Facts
object_fact (1)
A fflumpet is like a trumpet, but worse. Much worse.
A fflumpet is like a trumpet, but worse. Much worse. b13:c02:p043 b13:c99:p411
history (2)
The fflumpet was invented by Eggbert Fflumpet, who shoved a sausage down the end of a trumpet and named the resulting instrument after himself.
One day, in a sulk, he shoved a sausage down the end of one of his trumpets. When played, it sounded really odd. He found it strangely pleasing... He named his new instrument after himself: A fflumpet. b13:c99:p411
John Wort-Fiddle, a distant cousin of Zebulon Goodacre, got permission from Eggbert to manufacture fflumpets and donated 30 fflumpets to Camp Goodacre when it was formed.
One day a passing businessman heard the sound and loved it. He got permission from Eggbert to manufacture fflumpts. This man, John Wort-Fiddle, happened to be a distant cousin of Zebulon Goodacre... When Camp Goodacre was formed, John Wort-Fiddle was so excited by his cousin's venture, that he donated 30 flumpets for use by the campers. b13:c99:p411
Relationships
Incoming
SILENCE Fflumpeteers! Only fflump when I signal for you to fflump! b13:c02:p043