Ceiling-Throw

A strange and very satisfying sport that Mr. Stinson invented in 2019. The aim of the game is to throw an object (X) as close to the ceiling as possible, without it touching. If you throw it too hard, it goes thwump and hits the ceiling. If you throw it too soft, it drops away too soon. Object X = is usually something small like an eraser, an apricot, a marble, a heemo-globule globule or anything else similar in size.

List of World Champions 2023: Jemima Bogrie 2022: Larry Seftwomple 2021: Amanda Manderbridge 2020: Mr. Stinson – only entrant 2019: Mr. Stinson – only entrant

An unfortunate incident occurred at Swedhump Elementary’s staff lounge recently, when Mr. Hogsbottom challenged Mr. Ibis to a quick ceiling-throw duel. For object X, both participants selected pieces of lava from the staff lounge lava display.

Both were overexcited by the duel and threw their objects up a little too hard. Unbeknown to them, the ceiling in the staff lounge is super-thin. Both pieces of lava shot straight up into the wiring system that controls the school Snintercom Communications Network and Base Portal Interface.

The first thing that happened was the snintercom sent a signal to the school alarm system, so suddenly a huge siren started blaring, and all kids and staff ran out of all their classrooms and assembled at the emergency muster stations on the campus.

The second thing that happened was the snintercom sent a signal to the regional firefighting airborne squadron, who then deployed a swarm of firefighting triplocopters, dousing the entire campus with water. Only after an hour of continued aerial water bombardment did they realise it was all one big mistake. The playing of ceiling-throw in the staff lounge has subsequently been banned.